Day 47

 

Someone To Call On

 

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.

 

1 Peter 5:7

 

 

When my first wife died an older woman friend of mine told me, "You are going to be a popular man with the ladies." She didn't mean I had suddenly started looking like Brad Pitt; it was that I was a bachelor with a cute little one year old boy. The more noble part of me likes to think that women  became attracted to me because of the tragic story and the adorable baby. The more cynical part of me thinks there were some desperate single moms out there that saw me as an answer to some of their problems. I suppose there were some of both.

 

It had only been a month since my wife had died when the phone started ringing. I was never sure what to think about women calling me. I'm old enough to have heard from my parents that, nice girls don't call boys." I was also young enough and worked with teenagers enough to know that these days nice girls do indeed call boys. But these weren't girls, they were women. They called, short ones, tall ones, skinny ones, not so skinny ones, pretty ones and some who in our politically correct times could only be described as beauty challenged. Some of them I knew fairly well but most of them I barely knew. They all called to, "offer my condolences."

 

There was one in particular that I remember. She was a pretty lady that I had just met. She had a son that was starved for male attention that I had played catch with at a church picnic. She seemed to be nice but I really didn't know her.

 

When she called she said, "If you ever need someone to talk to please give me a call. I'm not a stranger to death, so I know what you are going through. My mother died when I was 12 and then my fiancé died in Vietnam. My sister died a few years later and I had only been married a couple of years when my husband died. Other than my son my dad is all I have left and he is back in Colorado and has cancer. I don't expect him to live but another year at most. So, you can see I really am no stranger to death. If you want to talk just let me know."

 

I was somewhat stunned by this oration but managed to mumble out, "I appreciate the offer but I'm doing okay right now." What I felt like saying was, "Lady, I wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole. I want to live!" I wasn't even sure it was safe to have talked to her on the phone.

 

It is nice to have someone you can call on, a friend who will listen and encourage you. As Christians we have such a friend. That friend is Jesus. The Bible tells us we can call on him "because he cares for you." One of the great encouragements of the gospel is that not only is God able to help us, he cares about us and wants to help us. We always have someone to call on.

 

After I didn't respond to any of the women who called and finally met my quota of condolences the phone stopped ringing. At the right time God brought just the right woman into my life. She has been a good mother to my son and a good and loving wife to me. And best of all my relationship with her is not life threatening.

 

Upon Further Review:

 

Read Matthew 11:28-30

 

• Who does Jesus call to himself?
• What does Jesus promise?
• What does it imply to take on a yoke?

 

Day 46

 

No Wasted Sorrows

 

"...the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God"

 

2 Corinthians 1:4

 

There was a lady in our church whose goal in life was to live long enough to take care of her husband. Her husband was in advanced stages of a disease that left him disoriented, incapable of caring for himself and with a multitude of medical problems. It was a full time job to take care of him and she was determined to do it herself at home.

 

The problem was she was in poor health as well. Most of her problems were heart related. I visited her in the hospital on several occasions when she was in heart failure and she told me of her prayers to recover and take care of her husband. God answered her prayers.

 

About a month after my wife died this lady's husband went into the hospital. He was put in an ICU in the same hospital my wife had died in. I went up to the hospital to be with her and the family.

 

It was decided that they would take her husband off of life support and let him die peacefully. The family invited me in to the ICU with them and the life support devices were turned off. This dear woman looked at me and asked, "What do we do now?"

 

Just one month before I had been in that same hospital in that same situation. I knew what was most likely going to happen. God was not letting my sorrow and suffering go to waste. I was to use it to help that family.

 

I encouraged them to tell him good bye and that they would see him again. He was unconscious but you never know what they might hear or sense. And as that wife told her it was okay to go I watched the line on the monitor go flat. 

 

In 2 Corinthians Paul talks about how God is the "God of all comfort." And God comforts us not so we can hang on to that comfort selfishly but so that we can, in turn, comfort others. When God says, "All things work for good of those who love him," he is letting us know that even our sorrows will not be wasted.

 

Upon Further Review:

 

Read 2 Corinthians1:3-7

 

• Besides Paul calling him the "God of all comfort" what other comforting title does he give him?
• What is the comfort of God supposed to produce in us?
• Why is Paul's hope for the Corinthians firm?



Day 45

 

Joy Comes In The Morning

 

Weeping my remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

 

Psalm 30:5

 

 

When Ethan was about 6 months old Cathy began to have problems. She began to have severe headaches that turned out to be a side effect of one of the medications she was on. Her new heart was doing fine but she started having trouble with being immunosuppressed, again because of medication she was on. The medicines had to be taken though or her body would reject her heart.

 

She went into the hospital in late summer and was in most of the fall. On the transplant floor no children were allowed so she could not see Ethan. Once in a while they helped her go to the hospital lobby where I could bring Ethan in to see her. At Halloween I dressed Ethan up in a pumpkin costume and she was able to come down to the lobby and see him.

 

Around Thanksgiving her health improved enough for her to come home. At Christmas, though she was very weak, she took Ethan up to Missouri to her home town to show him off. Even then I sensed it was some sort of a "farewell tour." The girl that had left Missouri at 19 with incurable cancer had come to show how she, with God's help, had overcome cancer, lived to get married and had a child.

 

In early January she was back in the hospital. Every time she had been in the hospital before, even leading up to the heart transplant, I had always been confident of her recovery. She had always been such a courageous fighter but something had changed. She was tired. She had accomplished so much after being given a death sentence at age 19 and she had just seemed to have finally lost that special spark that drove her to conquer death.

 

Her condition declined. It was getting desperate and I began to feel her slipping away. In late February she went into a coma. After about a week she woke up. She spoke of a vision of heaven that she had but really couldn't talk about it because of the emotion involved. The next day was Ethan's first birthday and I told her I would take him to the livestock show in the morning and videotape him with the animals. In the afternoon I would bring the video tape and get a TV and a VCR in her hospital room so she could see her baby. She said to me, "Take care of our son." It was the last thing I would ever hear her say.

 

By the time I got to the hospital the next day she had gone back into a coma. She was in liver failure and was transferred to another hospital that had an ICU just for patients with that problem.

 

A CAT scan was done of her brain one day and everything was clear. Two days later another was done. The second scan showed what looked like a large tea stain on her brain. It was some sort of fungus I was told. It was irreversible. They asked me if the need should arise should they resuscitate her? I told then no - no more medication, just keep feeding her. Two days later I was called early in the morning and informed that all her brain activity had ceased in the night and that I needed to come and give them permission to turn off the machines. Her parents and I went to the hospital and said our goodbyes. They turned off the machines and her heart beat lasted for a few minutes more and then she was gone.

 

Anticipating her death was actually worse for me than her dying. God gives us grace when we need it. Cathy was 31 years old, we had been married for 7 years. She had been given a death sentence at age 19 and lived to give me the greatest gift (outside my salvation) I have ever received, my son. Her courage and love that led her to risk her life so that he might be born was unfathomable.

 

In a picture frame on my son's wall is her picture and a poem she wrote when facing death at age 20.

 

At death remember my life.

Remember not how soon I died

but how long I lived.

 

The quality of live is not in the number of days one lives

but in living those days to the fullest.

 

When you look back on my life

don't be sad ...

Be happy, I was happy.

 

Life is good. Life is worth living.

 

"Joy comes in the morning."

 

Cathy 1984

 

 

Upon Further Review:

 

Read 1 Corinthians 15:50-58

 

• What metaphor does Paul use when he describes the change that happens at the resurrection?
• Who gives us victory over death?
• Therefore, in light of the promise of the resurrection, what should we do? 

 

 

Day 44

 

When They Don't Believe You

 

All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him down the cliff.

 

Luke 4:27-29

 

She kept telling them that she was having severe headaches and needing something for pain. They did not believe her. She did so well after the heart transplant that first year. She had got pregnant, carried a baby to term and done well for a few months after Ethan was born. Then the pain started.

 

She had gone to the hospital; they had examined her and could find nothing wrong. She kept insisting that she was in pain and that something must be wrong but she got nowhere with the doctors. I called a doctor and demanded to know why they were not doing anything for her pain. I was finally told that it was that they thought she was complaining just so she could get pain meds.

 

I was angry, very angry. They did not know Cathy like I did. She could deal with pain and not ask for pain meds unless it was needed. She had been through chemo therapy, limb salvage surgery and a heart transplant. She understood the difference between pain and discomfort.

 

As angry as I was I understood why they though she just wanted pain meds. She had been addicted to pain meds once before. It was no fault of her own. When you go through as much as she had been through for as long as she went through it you get put on a lot of medication. She had become addicted to a pain killer and we had to go through the steps to get her off. Now they thought she was just trying to get back on them. They were wrong. She had a child at home she desperately wanted to care for, the last thing she wanted was more drugs and more hospitalization.

 

It is so frustrating when people don't believe you or understand you. Maybe they have good reasons not to believe you or perhaps they evaluate the facts differently. Sometimes people don't believe because of their own shortcomings. It may help a little to understand why people don't understand you but it is still difficult to deal with.

 

The good news is that Jesus understands. Jesus had to deal with not being believed and understood. His own family didn't understand him at first. Jesus took years teaching his disciples and they never really understood some things until after the crucifixion and resurrection. The people of his home town of Nazareth did not believe to the point of that they drove him out of town and tried to throw him off of a cliff.

 

Now this misunderstood, not believed in Savior is in heaven at God's right hand. And when we pray he intercedes for us because he knows what it is like. He understands.

 

Upon Further Review:

 

Read Luke 4:14-30

 

• How was Jesus received at first?
• What was it that made the people so mad?
• How did Jesus escape the crowd?

 

Read Hebrews 4:15-16

 

• Why can Jesus sympathize with us?
• Because Jesus does understand what should we do? 

Day 43

 

God Loves You and has a Wonderful Plan for Your Life

 

"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife."

 

Proverbs 21:19

 

 

It was 1:00 a.m. and my pregnant wife woke me up and told me she was hungry. She was on steroids after the heart transplant, so being hungry was not unusual. What was unusual was her request for the food she wanted. She was craving chocolate French silk pie.

 

I told her it might be a while before I could make a chocolate French silk pie, since I didn't have the recipe. I was even contemplating singing MacArthur Park like Richard Harris and warbling out, "I don't think that I can take it because it took so long to bake it and I'll never have that recipe again. Oh no, oh no." For once I kept my mouth shut but still I was warned not to be a smart aleck and to get my clothes on and go to the store and buy a chocolate French silk pie from the frozen food section. It doesn't pay to get a pregnant woman on steroids angry, so I got dressed and headed for the store.

 

In Houston, Texas a store parking lot at 1 in the morning is often times not the safest place to be. I was cautious as I parked my car and headed for the store door. I had only taken a few steps when I saw 2 rather large young men headed my direction. I thought, "Oh great. No good deed goes unpunished."

 

I braced myself for the confrontation. I made a fist with my keys poking out between my fingers. I figured if it came to blows I would pop in one quick one then run like crazy. (Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, run like a cheetah).

 

I held my ground as they approached. They stopped right in front of me and one of them said, "Do you want to hear the good news?"

 

I thought, "What good news? Are you just going to rob me, not kill me?" That is what I thought, but what I said was, "What good news?"

 

The reply was, "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life."

 

A wave of relief washed over me. I told them, "You have no idea how aware I am of that at this very moment."

 

I was at the store in the middle of the night because my pregnant wife had a craving and was on steroids and I didn't want to make her mad. She was good natured usually with just a bit of a temper but on steroids it could get rather unpleasant. She would get really mad and then really sad that she had not been able to control her emotions.  She hated being that way, to have little control over her anger. I tried to be understanding, knowing the cause, but it could get real old real quick.

 

I have heard some women say with seeming pride, "when Momma ain't happy; nobody is happy." Maybe the mean it innocently enough but I don't find it amusing. All of us, men and women, need to control our anger, not be controlled by it and certainly not make others miserable simply because we are miserable.

 

Solomon had enough wives that he was bound to have 1 or 2 that were angry women. Perhaps they were angry because there was so many wives. In his great wisdom he says he would rather live in a desert than with an ill tempered wife. I'm sure wives feel the same way about ill tempered husbands. Maybe that is why so many people live in Phoenix. Whether you are a man or a woman it isn't funny making other people miserable because you are an angry person.

 

A Special Note on the Medicinal Quality of MacArthur Park as sung by Richard Harris:

 

If you are having a bad day, battling depression and just need something to pick you up and brighten your day then listen to Richard Harris sing MacArthur Park. Your depression will melt away as he sings of how depressed he is because "someone left the cake out in the rain" and the "sweet green icing is flowing down." So take heart and rejoice because as bad as your live may be at least you are not Richard Harris singing the worst song ever recorded.

 

Physicians warning: Repeated listening to MacArthur Park  can lead to blurred vision and loss of cognitive skills.

 

Upon Further Review:

 

Read Jeremiah 29:11-14

 

• What kind of plans did God have for Israel?
• What was Israel's response supposed to be when God carried out his plan?
• When we seek God with all our hearts what happens?

 

Day 42

 

Miracles

 

"Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name."

 

John 20:30-31

 

 

This picture is similar to the one that appeared on the front page of the Houston Chronicle and various other newspapers around the country back in March of 1992.

 

Do you believe in miracles? Do you think miracles stopped with the end of Bible times? What makes a miracle? My answer are: Yes, I believe in miracles. I think God still does miracles. Miracles are the supernatural activity of God. I have theological and practical reasons for my belief. I will not go into the theological reasons here, (this isn't the blog for that), but I will tell you about the practical reason I believe in miracles. I have one living in my house.

 

My wife really did well after the heart transplant. Though we were not sure she could ever get pregnant she took birth control pills just in case. Her new heart was doing fine but a pregnancy was not a good idea.

 

Despite all the chemo therapy she had, the damage it had done, numerous surgeries (including the heart transplant) and being on the pill, 4 months after her surgery Cathy became pregnant.

 

The doctors were concerned. An abortion was recommended. Those who recommended it were quickly told that it was not an option.

 

On several occasions I took Cathy to the obstetrician. Because she was immunosuppressed after the heart transplant (for medical reasons)  we did not have to sit in waiting rooms but were immediately ushered into a examination room. A nurse would come into the exam room and say, "I need for you to take off your pants, get in that chair and put your feet into those stirrups." When I heard this I would get up and go to the waiting room. After hearing this several different times on one occasion she gave her speech. "I need you to take off  your pants,  get in the chair and put your feet in the stirrups."

 

I looked at the nurse and asked, "Are you talking to me or my wife?"

 

I thought it was hilarious. The nurse didn't. I went to the waiting room.

 

The pregnancy went well. The only complication was pre-term labor which can happen to anyone who is pregnant. The hardest part (at least for me) was coming up with a name. After having been a youth minister for over 10 years some kids had ruined a few names for me. When we though we were going to adopt we had chosen the name Seth for a boy. Seth means chosen and it seemed like the ideal name for an adopted child. After a while we figured out it wasn't a good name for us. Just try and say, "Seth Sumrall" without sounding like you have a lisp. We knew it was going to be a boy and we finally chose the name Ethan (which has since became a very popular name for boys).

 

On February 28, 1992 Ethan was born without complications. Cathy was the 5th person ever to have had a heart transplant and gone on to have a child. She was the first post-transplant woman to carry a baby to term and give birth to a normal birth weight child.

 

The story of Ethan's birth made the national news. There were pictures of him in newspapers across the country. I am told his birth was announced on CNN and I know we appeared on the Good Morning  Houston television show and other local newscasts. An article and Ethan's picture even appeared in one of those sensational magazines that line the checkout stands at grocery stores. I received phone calls from people I did not know from various parts of the country, people who just wanted to talk and gain a little encouragement and hope in their own situation.

 

You can say it was just good medical science and I will certainly agree the doctors and nurses were wonderful. To me and my family there is only one explanation for Ethan. He is a miracle. He is all grown up now and a fine Christian young man. He has gone on mission trips to Peru and Honduras, worked at a ranch for handicapped people and led churches and college ministry in worship. He is a talented musician, singer, songwriter, a college student at the University of Arkansas, a member of the US Army Reserve and a daily reminder that God is still in the miracle business.

 

Upon Further Review:

 

Read Matthew 16:1-4

 

• What did the Pharisees and Saducees ask Jesus for?
• What had Jesus just done at the end of Matthew 15? (Matthew 15:29-39)
• What does Jesus mean by the sign of Jonah? (How long was Jonah in the belly of the big fish and how long was Jesus in the tomb?)

Day 41

 

What's Love Got To Do With It?

or

Tossing Cookies

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

 

1Corinthians 13:4

 

 

I want to tell you about a man named Herb Hodgemon. Herb, when I first met him, was an older man, a deacon in our church. Herb was a brilliant man, an accomplished engineer. He had several engineering patents from his work on the Alaska pipeline. He was a wealthy man. Herb had no children but had a wife he loved dearly. Late in her life his wife suffered from some disease that placed her in a wheelchair unable to speak and barely move any part of her body. Herb could have afforded a nursing home or the best in home care. But Herb loved his wife and did everything for her; he bathed her, fed her, dressed her - everything.

 

After Cathy had her heart transplant she was on a lot of medication, one of which was a high dose steroid that made it difficult for her to control her emotions. Cathy's  mom had stayed with us several weeks after the surgery but eventually had to go home, back to St. Louis to work. As we drove to the airport Cathy began to cry and become uncontrollably sad about her mom leaving. As we dropped her mom off, Cathy became so emotional she threw up on my shoes. Her mom offered to stay but I told her to go on because it was just the medicine and we would get through it somehow.

 

When we did get home Cathy was in such an emotional state I called the doctors. I was instructed to give her some Demerol (pain killer) to calm her down. So I got the Demerol out and injected it into her IV line and she drifted off to sleep. That evening as the meds wore off it was time to for her to take her anti-rejection drug. It smelled like a skunk when you opened the pill bottle and the only way she could keep it down was to eat something and swallow the pill with a glass of chocolate milk. So I made her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich which she ate and then she swallowed the pill as she drank her chocolate milk. While this was going on she was coming out of her Demerol haze and once again realizing that her mom had left. She got all upset again and this time when she vomited I was ready with a bucket. I gave her some more Demerol, got her another sandwich and more chocolate milk to take another pill because the first one was in the bucket.

 

As she drifted off in her drug induced haze she looked up at me and said, "Kiss me."

 

I thought, "No way dude. You just blew chunks!" And as I looked down into her expectant face I thought about Herb Hodgemon. I thought about my promise "for better or worse." And I determined if Herb Hodgemon could do better or worse, so could I. So I bent over and kissed her. Now lest you get the idea that I am "Jess the Wonder Spouse" I kissed her on the forehead, not on the lips.

 

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13 that love doesn't keep score. That means that sometimes, maybe even most of the time, one of you is going to give more than the other. Maybe it shouldn't be that way or maybe it can't be helped. The world screams out at us to look out for ourselves, take care of number1. God's word says don't keep score. And God sets the example for us in that he gave us his best, his Son, knowing that so many would reject him.

 

Upon Further Review:

 

Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 

• What are some things love is?
• What are some things love is not?
• What does love always do? And do you always do those things?